I
think this past week is blog-worthy. Returning to Val d’Isere was both
monumental and sentimental.
Kurt
and I got in late Wednesday night.. we chose to do some Europa cup races and
sacrificed the first World Cup training run in Val d’Isère. We knew the risks. If the organizing committee, or mother
nature, decided there would be only the one training run, I would not be
allowed to start the World Cup downhill on Saturday. Fortunately, we lucked out with a training run on
Thursday and the winds were calm enough to start from the very top (also
something key in being able to start in Saturday’s race).
But
on a more emotional level, I wanted so badly to ski this track again. Last year when I returned to Val for
the first time since my injury, I felt like I needed to conquer it. This time around, I just wanted to have
a really fun time together… really rekindle our French affair.. eat some crèpes
and share a cigarette.
I
want to say I was totally revved up Saturday morning but ‘ready’ for me, this
season, is ‘relaxed’. I skied a
bit in the morning, talked about ridiculous things with Kajsa and Lotte and
then went to the start. We were
all well aware of the delays.. but I’ve always been proud of my transition into
oblivion when course-holds are 15 plus minutes. That can only mean one thing.. it’s hairy out there today.
The
day before, my head sponsor, Derek Mayne, and his family arrived. I dropped by their room before heading
to the gym. When I walked down the
hall and knocked on the door, I knew immediately that this was my room in
December 2009. I sat on the bed
and thought of so many things. The
phone call home. The hugs. The mask I wore in those first few hours
telling everyone I would be ok knowing full well that I had no idea. I took a bath that night despite how
challenging and painful it was.. I didn’t want to stop my routine just because
I was a little sore. Painkillers
were slow coming because the French take lunch breaks, even at the
hospital. But I knew after
crashing, when I was still sliding, that I wouldn’t go to the Olympics.
But
walking into that room on Friday, it was special. I had memories, but that was it.. I had to get to the gym.
Now,
it’s Sunday. I had another one of
my best career results, 14th place. I’m clearly aware of the Olympic criteria and needing one
more top-12 World Cup result to solidify my spot… so, when I saw the placing, I
was a bit ‘so so la la’ about it.
That’s what Kurt says when you feel ho hum about something (in
German). But he would be upset
with me for calling that race so so la la. He’s really proud of me and he’s teaching me to be proud of
myself too. That’s not something I
have felt very often in my life.
Not because I haven’t done things in my life worthy of pride, it’s just
not an emotion I allow myself to feel very easily. But if it were easy,
everyone would do it. Wait.. I
don’t think that phrase applies here. Anyway, when we get in the car after a race, Kurt and I
always debrief and unwind in a very positive and productive way. Sometimes we laugh.. but I’ve been
known to cry, too. Actually,
when we left the race yesterday, he made me laugh so hard my abdomen cramped
and I had to recline my seat completely to stop it.
I
hope that happens a few more times over Christmas. It’s been an incredible two months. I will never forget in July on my first
camp in Zermatt, Switzerland when Kurt and I had our first ‘worst case’
meeting. We sat in the backyard at
a table and chairs and talked about what happens if it’s Christmas and nothing
has come to fruition. I shrugged a
lot and looked down at my feet. He
walked me through the options and, ultimately, I knew it was a conversation we
had to have.. but it was very painful.
In the end, our worst case scenario was not booking a post-Christmas
flight.. that would be the end of this independent venture. So, last week, when Kurt told me the
flight was confirmed for January to return to Europe, it was no surprise but it
was a milestone. It makes this
flight home, writing this blog, a whole lot easier. I’m so happy to be with my family.. and eat cookies.. and
then rally someone to come run them off with me. Christmas is going to be perfect.
Frohe
Weinachten
Larisa
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Derek and Kathryn Mayne's babygirl, Elizabeth |