Today, I went skiing. I have been waiting for the perfect day... but realized there wouldn't be one. I just needed to go. So this morning, Mitchell, my brother, said, "Let's go!", and I went. The sky was grey (just like my jacket) and the snow was used, but it was just what I needed. A quiet environment with Mitch who just wanted a couple runs. Simplicity. I stood at the top and wondered what would happen when I started to feel momentum for the first time in one year. I knew how to click in my bindings, I knew how to skate to the lift, but making that first turn was genuinely nerve-racking. The first run was ugly. I was stiff, scared and exhausted at the bottom. The second run was just me and the snow and I finally felt in control of my future. As I was getting ready, I told Mitch that none if it felt strange. Ironically, that's what felt strange... the comfort. On a sidenote, instead of using the word comfort, I wanted to say content, or contentness. I looked it up on thesaurus.com and one of the options was "fat dumb and happy". I feel a little fat from last night's dinner and I feel happy, but not dumb. It didn't fit.
Last night's dinner was incredible. I hosted my first Christmas party ever with 14 guests so close to my heart. Each person invited played a major role in my recovery and what better time of year to thank them than Christmas. It was so important to me that I show, via food and wine, how appreciative I am. Thank you with my whole heart. I could've filled a concert hall with everyone that deserves a thank you dinner. You know who you are.