Dinner and Dessert

Dinner was to be my trip out to Calgary.  I flew out on Wednesday planning to stay 10 days for some hard work alongside my fellow teammates (the injured ones) and touch base with the medical staff.  But here's what happened instead... I was on the bike, the stationary still because hopping on my buddy's mountain bike felt very premature complete with the shakes and running a red light.  So knowing I'd see my surgeon in a half hour's time, I crammed.  I biked hard to get my knee joint gliding as clean as possible.  Dad says when a knee is healthy, it glides 100 times smoother than an ice cube on a freshly zambonied rink.  I think my knee right now is much like that, but with hockey gloves and sticks all over the surface.  Hence my news and latest blog post.  So, I hopped up on the table to show my surgeon how well I was doing and before long I was signing papers and filling out a questionnaire about my heart's conditions and if I had any breathing problems.  Normally, I'd check no.  But finding out I have to go to the hospital on Wednesday changed my heart's condition as well as my respiratory function... If a heart could frown, mine was.  It turns out I've done "a really good job", but I need a boost.  I will go in this week, be put under anesthetic to eliminate any reaction to pain, so that Dr. Litchfield can bend my knee with sheer force.  This will give me the flexion I've tried so hard to achieve with Marla, Annalisa and my dad.  


I've had to leave my heart out of different moments of this journey.  I do black and white very well, but times like these prove to be so grey that only my robotic self can stand in.  So be it.  As long as some form of me is getting through this.  Yes.  That's something else I've learned.  Just when you think you've got it all figured out, the proverbial rug is pulled so hard from underneath you that you didn't even realize you were standing on one.  Not until my feet start getting cold do I understand fully how little I understand, fully.


Onto dessert, one thing I know for sure is my flight itinerary to Mexico on April 29th.  Emily Brydon  is having her retirement/30th birthday party in Casarubia on the southwestern side of Mexico.  There will be a beach, an ocean, a great group of girls and a great group of drinks all in favour of a good time.  A few of us were able to discuss this good time at Emily's on Thursday night.  Anna Goodman's blog has details of our serious and structured meeting.  I was hesitant to book a trip away from my rehab crew.  I will miss them.  But I know this was a good decision for some soul time.  I laugh so hard with these girls.  And I know I will be very much at home alongside fellow and former knee injuries.  


So... dinner and dessert.  Not what I ever anticipated for my April 2010 but what life served up.